Kaliope, I'm sorry you've had such a hard time yourself. *Hugs*
I do feel kind of better now that I've ranted and had about a day to get over it. But I'm still not over it entirely. The feelings are the same. I still feel ugly and inadequate, unlovable...still feel as though I don't deserve to be here. Yes, I am extremely painfully jealous of girls who are skinnier/prettier/more outgoing/etc. Been thinking about starving myself because I feel too fat to eat. I'm 300 pounds, I don't need anymore food. I need to lose weight so I can find a boyfriend by my 18th birthday. Seems like all the other girls are beautiful while I'm still ugly...makes me wanna die sometimes. I feel like there's no room for me here, like I'm not wanted. I feel so alone...I guess I'm not much better off after all. I kind of want to die...still seems like everyone else is beautiful and I'm ugly, which is the worst pain in all of this.
I hope you're doing better than I am.