I'm a bit depressed after therapy this week. I had told my therapist (who I've only seen ~5 times now) that I wasn't sure if I should call my dad for his birthday this year.

Why? He asked...

- My dad took my college money, and then kicked me out of the house when I was in high school (sent me to live with my mom)

- My dad didn't call me on my birthday this year (I turned 40). He hasn't called me most years.

- At the end of last year, my dad asked me and my sister for money. We helped him out... and he hasn't talked to us since. Once he found a job (and thus didn't need us anymore) he stopped calling and stopped returning calls. Back in Dec/Jan (before my birthday), I had called to tell him congratulations and talk about the new job - no call back. No calls since.

- This isn't the first time, when I was just out of college, he had called to try to borrow money (which I didn't have at the time).

- Also, his mother totally cut all of us (my siblings and me included) out of her life (she's dead now) b/c my father borrowed money from her and didn't pay it back.

- I'm also getting constant call for debt collectors looking for him. I work from home, it's frustrating and distracting and a pain.

Overall, I feel *exhausted* from getting my hopes up that I'll be able to have a relationship with my father, then having him drop off the face of the planet again. Repeatedly. I feel like I can't really hold up a one-sided relationship where he thinks my sole purpose in life is to be his financial support. I don't think that's healthy for me or fair.

My only concerns are:
- my dad is getting older (66) and not in good health. I don't know if I'd regret not making more of an effort if he were to die tomorrow.
- growing up, I liked my dad much more than my mom... we have more in common.

So what would you do? The therapist says "two wrongs don't make a right" and that I should just go ahead and call. I'm thinking of compromising and just sending an email. I have no idea if he still has access to a computer/email though. To be honest, I have no idea if he's even alive... nobody has talked to him recently (no surprise) - my brother hasn't talked to him in ~6 years!!!

Any advice? Thanks...