Thanks Hvert... It really does help to hear others' experiences with this stuff.

Yeah, I need to think about it. Part of me wants to call... just to make it the last call. This way I can tell T, "There, I called, he didn't answer... I did my part, and I'm done now."

It just feels like... how much am I really expected to do for a one-sided relationship? Shouldn't T be a supporting me a bit more in this rather than quoting Ann Landers? Hmmm...

Hvert... that's interesting that your dad gets upset that you don't call. My dad totally doesn't. He does tend to be depressed so maybe he really just doesn't care. I have trouble understanding, because he does mental health counseling (!) - yet has been depressed for as long as I can remember. I don't know. But no, in the past, he's never said anything or given any sign of being hurt/upset by not getting a call for his birthday... but we usually seem to only talk once every couple of years...

Sigh. I think this is more about me feeling like T is not understanding stuff and not sure if he's going to be a good match. Whatever happens with my dad feels like.. that train has left the station, I don't expect it to change course at this point...

thanks...