No, it's not weird to be 23 and still be a virgin. While most people have sex before then, there are plenty who don't.

It does sound like you have a lot of sexual issues, for which I'd recommend talking to a sex therapist, but it's not unusual to be afraid to have sex for the first time, anyway. If you were sexually abused, certainly it makes sense to have fears.

What do you mean, you were taken advantage of by a boyfriend? If you don't mind giving more details, that is. I'm not quite sure what you're saying. But yes, it counts. Abuse is abuse.

Your friends shouldn't tell you that you're ridiculous. You're not. Some people have had things happen to them that they have to deal with, and some of those things can affect how we feel about sex and our sexuality. It's supposed to be a good thing and be pleasurable, but sometimes we have mental or physical issues that make it difficult or painful. We can overcome these things, though.

Yes, you're a grown woman, and you should be able to have sex. But that doesn't mean you have to. First, you should only have sex if you truly want to, and you're ready. I'm sure you experience a lot of guilt, from the feeling I get about your post, but try to remember, whether you have a problem or not, you have the right to decide when you have sex. Your boyfriend sounds really nice and patient, but if you feel pressure from him, let him know that you just don't want to. If you want to, but it's just the fear, as I said, you should talk with a sex therapist, and perhaps he can come to a session now and then (as you're comfortable), and work on your fears with you.

Another thing I'd suggest is, learn about sex. Read about it. I don't mean erotica (although feel free to explore that, too, if you desire), but facts and information. There are many good books, and the more you know about sex, the less likely you are to fear it. Reading about sex doesn't mean you have to do it. I read a lot about sex as a teenager, but I didn't have sex until the day before my 23rd birthday.

Whether you want sex now, or later, or if you want to wait until you're married, it's your choice, and none of those options is weird. Your first time should be special, not terrifying and negative.