Hi ihave3girls,
You mention in your last post that you have two other very young children (as well as the other info you gave us).
Ta daaaaa! I think she (10 year old) is jealous of the attention the younger ones are receiving and of the attention (cuddles etc) you and your husband give each other. (Which by the way, affection is a great thing )
She may be feeling left out, even though that was not intentional on your behalf. Being a busy mum and wife, it is hard to 'divide' loving attention completely evenly between all family members (let alone give some to yourself )
I reckon, be understanding of where she (10 y.o.) is 'coming' from and don't punish her for her, perhaps, feeling left out a bit. She just needs reassurance that she is and always will be a unique and wanted part of the family. She may think, "why am I being punished for (obscurely/acting-up) showing my fears?"
Pandering to bad behaviour isn't healthy, but spending some one-on-one and 'all-in' family time together could go down a treat with her.
Maybe she's feeling everyone else in the family is being made to feel special except her. She just needs some reassurance and to feel needed too.
I have three kids, close in age, and understand that, though it's not easy sometimes, we need to be aware of what they are feeling and perceiving about how they are placed in the most special 'place' in their existance, their family.
Wish you well