It sounds like you are being disrespected and your wife just expects you to put up with it. You should try to calm your temper. (I can understand why you have one though.) (The way you are treated contributes to it, I suspect.) The moodiness is probably connected with the way you are treated, also.

Have you tried counseling? That could help a lot. Have your physician help you find one. That would be a start. Best of luck to you!