I established goals for myself at my first appointment yesterday. One thing that concerns me is that I sort of got the impression that the therapist thought I could just go stick to these daily goals now that I have them. The thing is, it's not like creating to-do lists isn't something I have tried before. My hope is that knowing someone else is keeping me accountable will help motivate me to actually stick to what I said I'll do, but it's honestly really hard for me to just go do something...I have a hard time concentrating a lot of the time, so I just give up and spend four hours in bed crying before I try to be productive again. It's a hard cycle to break. I can't do it overnight.

I'm worried that if I don't show up to my next appointment (in 3 wks) reporting that I'm accomplishing so much, he's just going to be like, "Well, if you don't want to change, then I can't help you." I want to change. I really am not just a lazy person. I'm very depressed and have concentration issues that make it easier said than done, though. Just deciding to radically change my habits and behaviors isn't enough to make me transform into a whole new person.