I am at a bit of a loss as to how to deal with my feelings of deep anger towards my mother, who I live with, and who has done little to instigate them. I am a recent college grad, and I realize that much of my frustration directed toward her has to do with job search anxiety, the intense desire to leave home and become my own person, etc...
I try meditating, which helps, but perhaps I need more therapy? My relationship with my dad is never like this: It's always with my mother that the littlest things can cause a flare up of anger, and either I leave the house, shut myself in my room, or turn it inwards on myself. I haven't had a real shouting match with her since before college...but this repression is terrible!
I wish I could focus on just getting my own apartment, but I'm lost in my own pursuit of life goals, and it's easy to blame her. She divorced my father when I was mid-highschool, and by the time I graduated I felt as though she had mentally checked out of mothering, though she was physically there. It's easy to blame her (and dad) for letting me go to a college they knew very little about, which turned out to be the worst decision of my life. I was living with her while i applied and she didn't bother to oversee what I was doing or even check out the colleges herself!
I love my mother, but I don't think I like her at all right now, and even writing this feels so childish. But I can't help that part of how I feel...how can I help the anger though?