I am a newlywed of only one year and I recently found out that my husband has been watching pornography for the last 2 years. He was exposed to it at a very young age and has struggled with it for more than half his life. When we met he told me about it and said that he had stopped the previous year and that was true. It did not start up again until a year into our relationship. He was in the military and it was very prevalent there and he has even told me that most of the guys did it because they were board and as someone with brothers I know this can be true.
Last week he asked me to get his phone since he couldn't find it as he ran out the door for work and when I did It was lit from my calls and I noticed that he was on a porn site. That broke my heart. When he got home we had a long talk, mostly I talked (and cried) and I asked every question I could. He explained that it wasn't often once or twice a month and mostly out of boredom and he has promised me that it was over now that I knew about it that he would stop.
It has been a week and though we are better I can't get the images out of my head. I kiss him and I see it I cant even get into bed with out the images. They make me sick to my stomach and I cry a lot of the time. Its like he has had a hundred affairs. We were always able to be intimate, averaging about 4 times a week and now every time I think about it I see all those images and all I can do is cry.
I am so lost and heart broken I don't know what to do. I love him with all my heart and I want all of this to disappear but I don't know where to start. Please someone help me, what do I do?