Quote:
Originally Posted by wiredidiot
I'm happy to have the diagnosis after 9 years of hell on my family and myself.
The thing I have a hard time dealing with is how to fix the 9 years of damage left in the wake of this monster.
I also have a hard time with all the wasted time, all the doctors appts. all the meds. I was always "sick". Everyone (including myself) thought it was physical even after all blood tests known to man came back normal.
I was always a very strong, intelligent, hard working woman that thrived on stressful jobs and came out on top. I crashed and crashed good and now I have to be careful as to what events I allow in my life.
I guess in a nutshell, I'm angry that I just can't "live life" like I used to.
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Oh my gosh yes, the wasted life aspect really gets me too. Time stuck in hospital and staring at the wall, time in applintments, time thinking about my illness, time picking up prescriptions etc. I mourn for my
Old life and the dreams I now have to question. I'm struggling though my physiotherapy degree but if I keep being as sick as I've been over the last ~7 years then I question my ability to do that work. And I had always hoped to become a doctor afterwards but now the high stress, irregular hours and little sleep are making everyone tell me that it won't be good for me with this illness. It's disheartening when you spend all your time waiting for this to be over to be told that it's a lifelong condition. I'm pissed off right now. It seems unfair and I resent my friends who are going through life so smoothly. I don't even know what course my disorder will take and what damage it will do in the future, which is really getting me down