From my reading, and my own experience, I don't really feel many BPD (who present this trait) recognize their manipulative behavior and it is not usually overt or calculating. I think when a Borderline recognizes in themselves their desire to be 'nurtured' that it is somewhat of a surprise to us. A lot of us might even feel the opposite - that we are independent and can take care of ourselves, and run from relationships in which we may become dependent upon the other person - feeling negative or guilty about it at a subconscious level.

Its really hard to let a Borderline person who is very needy down in any other way but hard for them, the guilt can be tough because there is real pain for the BPD that comes from a sense of abandonment once the ignoring begins, which will happen with a very needy Borderline tapping resources that are not needful of them in return.

I do not have any good practical advice... other than to avoid this type of person and to be careful how much you give of yourself to people you don't know well enough. There is a lot of literature out there devoted to the challenges for people in relationships with Borderlines that might be of help.

- Stop Walking on Eggshells (book)
- BPDcentral.com

GL

edit - I am sure it is probably just interesting coincidence, but the phrasing of several statements of your own behavior are BPDish.