I've been trying to kill myself and over forty attempts, numerous medical hospitalizations, a few ambulance rides and some time on the ICU I'm still alive. And although I have a few (reasonably foolproof) plans, I'm just too tired to get up and perform them.
So I had a bladder infection last week. When I received the test results I tolt the doctor's assistant that I didn't have symptoms anymore, so that I didn't need the antibiotics. I was hoping on developing a pyelum infection (that's a part of your kidney that often gets infected if you don't treat a bladder infection). Regrettably, it didn't happen.
I haven't looked before crossing the street in at least eight months.

So now I've decided to stop eating. I won't stop drinking because I go crazy if I don't drink, but eating is easier as I'm never hungry anyway. I can't stop eating completely, because I live at home and my parents won't allow it, but I can minimize.

I'm refusing to sustain this body because I don't want it to go on.