You know, it might be that CBT is not the right kind of treatment for you know. I really do think you have to be in a certain place (IE recovering from depressive symptoms) to get much benefit from that kind of treatment.

It really sounds as though you need some help with that. I just don't think depression is something you can will your way out of sometimes.

Have you considered going to a psychiatrist and discussing medication?

I know I found that just a slight amelioration made it a lot easier to make the lifestyle changes I needed to make.