I'm not a pdoc or therapist but what yr describing sounds alot like bp. I would continue to start seeing that therapist again. You need to get these feelings out in the open...do you have a pdoc you can trust? If not I would find one asap. You are struggling alone with these issues and you don't have to. Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right meds to help you but you can do it! I found alot of relief from therapy...read as much as you can about bp to learn the signs and symptoms. You don't need to suffer alone. For 7 years i suffered thinking I just had depression...it really sucked. Then inn 2004 I was hospitalized and finally properly diagnosed with bp2. I was suffering for years on only anti depressants and those alone can make bp so much worse. I got on a mood stabilizer and my life was transformed. Please get some good help. You can feel better. Let us know how things are going. Yr not alone in this. We are here for you. Hugs