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Ipse_Dixit said:
and i don't know how my therapist can continue to put up with me, or how any therapist could, because my needs are always evolving...seemingly always moving one step ahead and she can never meet them. eventually, she will burn out if I continue this way.

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I feel like that too, sometimes. I need my therapist so bad that when I am away from him, it hurts like hell. I wonder how he can deal with someone needing him like that. I mean, he already spread out all over the place in response to emotional needs. Of course he has other clients (although I pretend that he doesn't) and family (although I pretend that he doesn't), and then there's me, who can suck the life out of somebody emotionally. (I told him this, he was very amused by the phrase).

Dixit, all I can say is that your therapist will be able to tolerate those feelings. Just yesterday my T said to me, "You can get angry at me. It is my job to tolerate the feelings that you have for me." I'm sure your T will do the same.

Transference is painful as hell. The transference I have for my T is heavy and sometimes 'out of control,' as I like to put it. But transference shouldn't stall therapy; it should push it forward. Slowly and painfully. But definitely forward.