Thank you for replies. I know you could be right BPnurse, but I'll never know if I really need the med unless I come off it and see. I went on it 2 years ago, and I needed it then mostly because I was depressed. The last time I had a significant hypomanic episode was over 3 years ago, and my pattern is they happen in times of stress or when I came off birth control pills. The only times I've had psychosis was when I was using LSD or MDMA. So as long as I stay away from those drugs I will not become psychotic. I feel like being on such a heavy drug regime is over kill at this point. I have two bipolar friends, both nurses, and both with very similar symptoms to me. One of them has the same pdoc as me, and she is on a ton of meds, and the other sees a different pdoc and she is just on lamotrigine. I have been working in mental health 10 years, with some pretty severely ill patients, and I am on more meds than the majority of those patients. I think my pdoc is more into polypharmacy than most other pdocs.

I'm under no stress right now, and I'll have 2 weeks off starting next weekend. I was depressed this winter, but it wasn't severe, and my mood is good right now and has been all summer. So if there's a time to try it, it's now. I'm a little bit scared, but mostly excited about possibly getting off this med. Burning Man is a stress, but it's a positive stress, and that's never caused a problem for me. I'm bringing saphris with me, so if I start to get sick I can restart it. I'm also going with a friend who is a bipolar psych RN, and she knows what I'm doing and can keep an eye on me.

So I don't really know why I posted here, because I already decided what I'm going to do and I am aware of the risks. Maybe it isn't fair to the group to post something like this and then ignore the feedback. I'm not sure of my motivation in posting. I guess I just trust you guys, and it helps me to share my experiences, even when I do risky things. I wouldn't recommend anyone do what I am doing, but it is what it is. I'm hoping for an intense experience at Burning Man, so I'm adjusting my brain chemistry to facilitate that.

Sorry if this offends anyone.