Thanks Healingme4me... I don't know what I feel. I feel confused, whether I have a responsibility to try emailing him, or try sending snail mail, to try to reach out and see what's going on. Especially because he has suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. But I also feel *exhausted* from having to constantly track him down, having to be the one creating the relationship. I don't want to be selfish, but I have my only issues to deal with - I don't think I have the energy to deal with his stuff either.

I do agree with you - there is some regret. I am much more similar to my dad (in terms of personality) and got along better with him when I was growing up. So it hurts that we don't have any kind of relationship.