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Aug 16, 2014, 04:37 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 212
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
Let me ask... if your parent changes their phone number and doesn't bother to let you know, can you consider that a pretty clear sign that they don't want anything to do with you?
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Not necessarily. My mom's number has changed over the years, but she doesn't tell me because she never calls me. Or anyone. She hates talking on the phone & only has one because her kids want her to have one.  She says I know where she lives & if I want to talk to her, I'll find her. She's super old-fashioned, which can be annoying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
I do have an old email address for him. But, omg, I don't want to have to be the one trying to chase him down and figure out where he's at. It seems that letting your family know about a phone number change is a pretty basic, easy thing. He chose not to do that.
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I agree, it is pretty basic, & I don't like that feeling either of being the only one trying to keep a relationship intact. It makes me pretty bitter, actually.
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
But I also feel *exhausted* from having to constantly track him down, having to be the one creating the relationship. I don't want to be selfish, but I have my only issues to deal with - I don't think I have the energy to deal with his stuff either.
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It is exhausting, & it is not selfish at all. I have exactly the same mentality. My family doesn't care at all about my issues; they just want me to be there to clean up their messes. I had to accept that I have my own life to live, & I can't always be chasing after them making sure they're okay. If they don't want to keep in contact, then that tells me I shouldn't waste my time hunting them down. Making an effort is one thing. My mom refuses to deal with or even acknowledge that she has issues, so I'm not going to let her thwart my efforts to address my own.
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