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Old Aug 16, 2014, 04:45 PM
SnakeCharmer SnakeCharmer is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 906
Dear MissBelle,

Just like Christina, I have read all your posts in various threads. I know you have a complicated problem with a boyfriend who's having sex problems and his sexual behavior has upset you. I know you are broke and that you gave him practically your last dollar to pay for therapy.

You haven't been together long. You're young. He's problems existed before he met you. You didn't cause his problems and you can't fix them. With each new revelation, I worry more and more about your well-being.

So much has happened in this short relationship that seems to be damaging to your sense of self, self-esteem and self-image. If I recall correctly, you hope to start counseling for yourself when the school year starts again. Is that correct? I hope that comes about.

Now ... this information about the way your boyfriend has treated your much beloved dog and how he has criticized you and criticized the dog for loving you and depending on you. (I've had dependent dogs before. We adored and depended on each other. If other people thought it was strange, that was their problem, not mine.)

Until you revealed what's happening with the dog, I was thinking ... well, if you both do therapy maybe you can save this relationship, although it seems to be dramatic and traumatic and full of problems. If you wanted to make it work, more power to you.

But ... a partner who's jealous of a beloved pet and who makes a big deal out of it, that really bothers me. Okay, I get the part about not wanting the dog in bed (although my dogs have always slept with me and my H.) Some people just don't like that. You accommodated your boyfriend. But that wasn't enough for him.

To me, it sounds as if he'd trying to separate you from something you love very much and that loves you back. Combined with his sexual rejection ... my god ... I really am worried about you and your well-being. It's as if he's isolating you from love and caring. That's just not right!

I know you're broke. But please do everything you can to get out of this relationship before you lose your sense of self, your dog and the ability to hold your head up. Your boyfriend has way too many problems.

Being in this kind of relationship for any length of time can be devastating to a woman's self-image. You may have to do some intensive soul-searching with the help of a therapist in order to ensure you understand yourself well enough that you don't end up in another dysfunctional relationship like this one.

I know you love the guy. But please go back and look at what you've written about the relationship. It's not working. Not working for you or him. I don't know what his game his, but it's definitely not worth investing any more of your time to find out.

Take Care. You will be in my thoughts every single day.
Thanks for this!
Bill3, hannabee, hvert, Middlemarcher, music junkie, sideblinded, Trippin2.0, waiting4, ~Christina