Im sorry that you feel that even if you go you will be right back in the same boat .... If that is the case then you need to change Pdocs and or treatment plans
.. The whole point of getting help is to improve your quality of life .. If your reaching out for help and not feeling better then you need to find new people that WILL make it a priority to find ways to make things better.

Reach out for help and tell your husband exactly how your feeling and keep yourself safe. I really worry about your safety.