thanks so much for your reply.

first, i used to sell van's tennis shoes 30+ years ago when i was in college. not sure that is why you picked you nick, but i thought i'd toss it out there. loved that job. i also had some 'custom' ordered vans that were pretty cool. and! black flag (the band) would buy their vans from our store. all good stuff.

thanks for the suggestions on meds, treatments. i actually had ect. it worked, but did not last. i also tried medicinal marijuana. took me to a bad place. gotta love california.

as i said, i'm currently doing 'deep' tms. it is a pretty new treatment. it seems like i am getting some relief. i am half-way thru the 'acute' part of treatment. and then, like ect, you do a taper and/or maintenance. it is much less invasive then ect.

i will be bummed if i do not get some true relief from this current treatment. but, there is plenty of stuff to try still. and, more things are coming. just as you also mentioned. i am willing to keep fighting and hoping.

thanks again for your reply to my post.

john