Thanks.

I think as I write this I am actually prepared. Will leave the hospital for home leave on my own tomorrow (obviously my wife is in no condition to travel). Going to pop in for activities during the days (mon, tues, wed) but other than that, get back to being at home.

It's weird... I am still having depressive thoughts (suicidal ideation), moments in the day when energy drains and general lethargy... and no doubt will self harm... but I'm not actually worried about it... trying to look at it in terms of 'this is who I am'... yes, I want things to change... yes, things can get very very bad... but I'm still here... so I must be doing something right.

Will endeavour to utilise what support is there... and I've got looking after my wife to focus on too.