so i've had hypomania but not a truly manic session for fours years now..which should be good right??? but for the past four years i've been mostly in a depression and i am starting to wonder if i can ever get the good quantities that go along with mania back. i want to feel self-deserving again, to feel that i can spend money on myself, to be confident...but that's not who i am anymore, at least at this moment. will i ever feel those things again? or will it always be just so-so?
mania isn't great but i've been depressed for so long, anything sounds better right now.