I do thank everybody for the responses given.
I appreciate the eloquent ones, one of them was very hurtful... I do feel I deserve my dog, thank you very much...
Before I reply in more detail to you guys, I really want to give you all some more information.
First - No, I would NEVER get rid of my dog. I didn't think I gave that impression at all.
I had another conversation with my boyfriend today, about this. I'm trying to relate what he said as best as possible, while keeping it short. Also, I'm trying really hard to not be biased - I'm typing down just what he said, not changing it in any way.
In short, he said he does like my dog (Shiloh, btw), he wants to see my dog happy. Unfortunately what has happened for a long time is that Shiloh has such bad anxiety, that we have no choice but to leave him in his crate for hours on end while we have to be out working, or going to school, or something. It's not healthy for the dog. So my boyfriend says he hates seeing the dog crated for so long. On bad days, it could be up to 12 hours, because we go to school and work. He doesn't like it, I don't like it. He says my dog can't be happy unless I'm here. And that's unhealthy. He said he was trying hard the only ways he knew how to try to train the dog to stop liking me so much, so that he could be happy and anxiety-free when we're NOT home.
We did start trying to keep Shiloh out of his cage (this involves shutting all doors to rooms, bathroom, keeping trash cans on top of counters, etc, so he doesn't get to them), but even then, all the dog does is stare out the window and howl. And then go lay down and sleep until we get back home. He's miserable when we're not here. So this anxiety problem DOES need addressing.
He said he gets really angry because he thinks I have no consistency with training the dog. That I'd try a new method for a week, and give up on it. (I do agree I have a problem being consistent. It's probably due to being comfortable in the situation. I did try to change several times, read articles and forums online, come up with new ideas. I'm still working on it.)
So he said he's just been trying to be hands off because he doesn't think I'm trying hard enough. He was just waiting to see what I'd do. Etc.
Ok, so that's what he said. I did reply, unfortunately this leads to other problems as well, such as the lack of communication we've already been having and how that affects us. In short, I told him it's hard to keep consistent when he doesn't show much positivity or excitement about me doing something right. And that I've also been depressed.
We've been writing notes to each other on the computer and passing it to the other because we feel we communicate better that way.
Because it has come to this, I will share with you guys the last thing he wrote to me; I feel like I've been sucking at properly explaining this entire situation, so reading his own words might make some more sense.
Quote:
Trying to help you? I did try to help you. I do try to help you. I don't know if you realize just how much help from me you turn away. I do want to help but when you pose such a strong argument and fight against me, that's when I have troubles helping you. Things don't "HAVE" to go my way. Of course every single person out there would like for things to go their way. I have a way I think is really good but I know I don't know everything about everything. Sometimes I might come across that way but it's just that sometimes I know more than people I'm dealing with. I'm not talking about situations between you and me. I really try to share all the information I have with you. I try for both of us to be strong thinkers. I do come across that way very strongly with other people. I do try to treat you better than I treat other people.
I did look up the definition of a hypocrite and I guess I am one. I didn't think I was one because I never denied that the problems other people have I don't have. I can call other people lazy but I know I am lazy. I can call other people irresponsible with their money but I know I am irresponsible with my money. I know what it takes to be succcessful. No I don't do those things and I haven't denied it. I admit to it. Yes I do call other people out on it but I am guilty of the same things I criticise others for. I know what it takes but I don't give it either.
I get mad because we are at a point now that I tried so hard to avoid. That goes for the relationship between you and I and Shiloh. So much I tried to fix things way back when. I guess I saw an ends I wanted and I saw a means to get there. Maybe I believed in it too much. Maybe my methods were too strong. I know what I want to get to and a way to get there. I have had a recurring problem of making things more difficult than what they should be. I think too much; I do sometimes feel like I have everything figured out. Other times I feel like I might not have everything figured out but I have the best plan on getting where we want to go. I wanted a partner I could figure out all of this with; discuss this. Look at the means and weather they are worth it; look at the way to get there and test all of the possibilities, affects, effects, outcomes, extended outcomes, extended affects and effects - think about everything I think about and more. It seems like it's always a fight with you. I feel like sometimes when I want to go on these thought journeys with you that I am fighting you. You tell me I'm wrong and tell me why I'm wrong so quickly. I take in so much information and I handle so much information. You tell me I'm wrong before you have heard all of my information. I don't know Belle. I know you are smart but for some reason we can't get on the same page. I don't know why. It hurts me. I don't feel like I can get into you mentally. I want to share myself and my thoughts and everything about me but it's like as soon as I start sharing I hit a wall. It's so hard for me to explain. I have yet to get it into words. I feel trapped inside myself because I don't feel like I can share things. I am hurting so much inside myself. I am truly sorry for the things I have done to you and to Shiloh.
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My boyfriend does have a lot of problems, and a lot of problems before he even met me. I agree. He is confused and he does things wrong, like every other human being does; but he is NOT an abuser.
I am 100% sure of this.
Thank you once again for taking the time to read.