we've been together for 3 years, he's respectful, caring, loving, and I adore him .
one day we were talking on the phone after I had a big fight with my mother and here goes the conversation ....

He: If we were married and you had a fight with your family in front of me, and they asked about my opinion, would it bother you to tell you you're wrong in front of them ?
I :Yes, no problem to tell me I am wrong but just not in front of them and not while we're arguing .. and anyways, it would be better to just stay away from it, no need to take sides ..
He: but if they ask me my opinion? I would feel obliged, and I would say you're wrong because it's just a situation that will pass.
(that really annoyed me)
I : just say I don't know or I don't want to get engaged, that would relieve you from any pressure .
He : okaaay, now if that fight was between you and my family ? I would want to express my opinion.. hey I just want to know how that makes you feel , I am so conflicted, I believe you should be free to do what you want but I am sometimes so traditional when it comes to family.
I : you're not dear ! you're asking me to obey you even if I am right (I know that due to previous conversations), so if your mum and I got into a fight and you believe I was right, you won't be able to say that in front of her and you will make me appear as if I am wrong, is that correct ?
He : Yes
____________________________end of conversion____________________________

He's also so upset about his sister in law, because she doesn't visit his mother as much and she's supposed to "serve" her (his mother) but she doesn't ! And when we talk about our future he always says that we're not going to be like his brother and sister in law, which means I am supposed to be the servant his mother never had ... or that's how I feel .

I am so scared specially that we're thinking about getting married next year.
I would love to have a good relationship with his family, what I can't accept is to be a servant for them, or that they take me for granted.
I don't want him to take sides,I am not asking him to agree with me, I just want him not to humiliate me infront of his family saying I am wrong and should make sacrifices even when he thinks I am right. I want my space of freedom to keep silent or go away when I am mad after a fight with his mum. Am I being unreasonable ?
How can I talk with him about that without hurting him ?

(Still don't know what would get us (his mother and I) into a fight in the first place, it's just all hypothetically)