Too aversive to vulnerability/the ick feelings that accompany reaching out for help. My therapist always says "call or text if you need anything," but you'd think after three years she'd start to realize I have more of a 'show up to appointments, fuss about people who have disrupted my existence in some way for an hour, bounce, fall off the grid for a week, reappear again for some reason at next appointment' essence about me.

I'm like a really annoying magic trick.