I miss T. I don't even know how she is doing. I haven't called to ask.

I am so messed up. I'm trying to convince myself that it's just best to walk away right now rather than to go back, just to have her die anyway. I am a death magnate. Care about me and you will die. My father, my brothers, my good friend... why not T too.

I am fighting not to call P-doc and tell her I'm never coming back. She is trying to help but a part of me HATES that she is. HATES that she's being nice. HATES that she cares enough to give me her cell phone number. Leave me alone. Keep your distance.

I feel like the fly being lured into a web of kindness...only to be killed and eaten.

I miss T.