I have this monster.. he comes and goes... he brings on an alternate me.. especially on the inside...... very sinister but sadly proud of it....... was told by therapist that this is my own personal type of.self harm I do... I gut the people closest.to me and find a since of joy in it.. it's very disappointing and disturbing..... it's scary.. if I see something evil or bad on TV I envision doing something similar and it just brings a smirk to my face.. if I got into a fight they better knock me out cold because I will fight to the death.... and I'd literally kick the person's face and break it.... proceed to pee all over their face and tell them to cry like a ***** or I will end them with my boot... sickening and ill....