Lack of identity is a tricky thing. I have tried to explain to other people and it is incomprehensible to them. It is always "everyone one has an identity, who you are is your identity". Well, that seems to make sense but it isn't always true.

I sometimes know who I am sometimes my inner self just floats waiting for someone to tell it who it should be. It is in those moments that life gets scary because I don't have a firm teather to the world. It is when all the mistakes I have made come and haunt me making me feel so bad, how could anyone want to know me and if nobody wants to know me then how am I going to get connected again?

How do I deal with it? I try to pay attention to my body. My sense of identity may not always be there but my body never leaves me...I may leave it but it is always there to come back too. I pay attention to the way it feels. Starting at the feet and working my way up. I put it into different situations that give it sensation...yes SI is one of them but I am trying to get away from that...like taking a hot shower then slowly lowering the heat and feeling my body adjust to it. Or running my hands through my hair, gently pulling it. Things like these helps bring be back to my body and in doing so back to myself.

I have been told to get hobbies and develop an identity through the things I do. It doesn't work for me...though running has become part of who I am, again it is a physical thing bringing my back to the world. Everything else is transitory, it comes and goes. I just have trouble remembering that they exist if I am not actively engaged with them.
Carrie

<font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos