(((((((( ECHOES ))))))))
Hang in there, you're making progress. And it hurts.....
PS I was wondering if on some level you link your falling apart emotionally to what I would have felt as a physical falling apart, and my body "failing" to protect me, as in major abdominal surgery. Sorry if I'm way off track. The "falling apart" emotionally is part of your minds healing itself, and like someone else said, part of its protecting you too