What really matters in the end (I think) is how real the experience is to you. Emotional memory, flashbacks, images, smells... these things carry a lot of weight in who we become whether the actual recall/memory is there or not.

I hope that you can talk about this with your therapist or in a place where you feel more comfortable.

Further, I think the fact remains that, when it comes to things like this, there really is no truth. There is only what is true to us.