Hi all, this is my first post.

I have been with my SO for several years, and he told me long ago that he is a Diaper Lover. I've done my best to be supportive of his fetish over the years by wearing diapers for him and with him, having sex in diapers, and sometimes wetting while he watches. The problem is, I really don't enjoy it. I have depression and anxiety, and I find that the feeling of being on "display" and having him want to watch or look at me wearing the diapers, especially if he wants me to wet, freaks me out and makes me feel completely uninterested and sometimes combative about having sex. Our sex life has suffered as of late when I experienced a return of my depression, and we're working through it, but I have a fear that this fetish is never going to feel normal or desirable to me. Does anyone have experience with this? I've tried easing into it, taking it one step at a time, but I feel like he always wants more and I find myself afraid to initiate sex for fear he'll ask me to wear a diaper. I love him and don't want this to hurt our relationship more than it is, but I don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated.