Everything that is bad happens to me and it always happens at the worse possible time. My own grandmother said, “if it weren’t for bad luck, you’d have no luck at all.” That pretty much describes my life.

So, Tuesday I defend my Masters—which is extremely stressful—I have to prove that I know enough to earn my masters. I am trying, but I am just not ready for it. The class I am taking this quarter requires 4 papers—one a 25 page research paper. It also requires a ton of reading and class presentations. Now, add that to working 50-60 hours a week and I am absolutely swamped. My schedule is horrible. The only break I take is to post here—that gives me a little bit of sanity.

So, now, I am stranded at work because my car won’t start. I just spent almost $700 getting it fixed—which completely wiped out my savings. Now, I have to get the car towed and of course the mechanics said its too late today to look at it today and they don’t work on Sundays. Not only do I not have the time and energy to deal with this, I don’t have the money to get it fixed…I am royally screwed. Even if it only cost $100—I don’t have it. I barely had enough money to buy my books this quarter—they are threatening got turn off my gas because I owe almost $300, but I don’t have the money to pay them. I don’t get paid until the 30th of the month.

So, now I have to arrange for a ride home tonight—we are having a home football game today, so getting a tow truck here will be impossible today—arrange for a ride to work tomorrow—get the car towed—arrange for a ride from the dealership to home—arrange for a ride to work and then back to the damn dealership to get my car. And somewhere in there I need to magically produce money and study for my defense. Not to mention I need to be working on the papers for the class I am taking this quarter. And then, basically pray that my gas does not get shut off before my paycheck hits the bank.

I am so frustrated that I am in tears. I try so hard to do everything right—work—school—house—car—I try to treat people good—stand up for the causes I believe in—I give to others…I just plain try to be a good human being and all I ever get is crap. Everything goes wrong, people abuse me because I am nice, people take advantage of me because I trust them…my meds cost a fortune and why on earth do I have to be the one to have these mental illnesses? Why me? Why is it always me? I hate my car. I hate my house. I hate my job. I hate school. I am real close to hating myself right now.