I think this lady may clearly have her own issues going on. I have been thinking about it and I don't feel a woman would use a man as a stop over just to avoid a straight drive.

Speaking from my own personal experience, i have acted like this in the past, i have had a male friend who I knew liked me very much, and i liked him, but I didn't know how much, i just needed things to go slowly and for me to allowed to develop my own feelings. So I would stay at his, and the evening would be lovely and then he would start to say he was falling for me or try and cuddle me too much during the night. By the morning I was so tired of all the affection as it gave me no time to think, that i needed to get away as soon as I woke up to process things...

This was entirely to do with my BPD though as I had always had the 'intense,' relationships where I was already head over heels before it had started so I was trying to maintain as safe and healthy distance in order for it to grow slowly and therefore make it last longer.

Now clearly you are the one with BPD and the male, but I just wanted to give you some insight into the fact there could be 100 reasons she is acting like this... Not just that she is using you.

She may be commitment - phobic?

Whatever the case may be though, your health is entirely the most important thing and if this relationship is not working for you, then I believe you should get out!

Maybe if you explain that you can't carry on a relationship like this, then she may open up at the thought of losing you, if she doesn't then you have to walk away though as clearly if that doesn't make her be honest with you then nothing will and you are worth more than being in that relationship.

As Said before it can take someone with BPD every ounce of strength to walk away. It's easier said than done.

But always know you are worth more than someone who can't be honest with you.