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Originally Posted by Willowleaf
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad tonight. I'm not great at saying the right thing, but I feel your pain and I am here and no doubt others will be soon. Try and be kind to yourself. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with and sometimes things like cancelled appointments can be the last straw. I'm really pleased your t sounds like she was there for you but I know how hard it can be in between sessions. Keep posting as there will be loads of people here for you.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willowleaf
How are you doing now?
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Thank you, Willowleaf. I'm definitely being kind to myself, eating really good nourishing food that I enjoy (this is always a measuring stick for me - if I can make myself eat properly I feel I'm doing something actively caring towards myself) and resting and bargaining with myself that I will do some of the work I need to do for the morning, and not beat myself up like a maniac just because I won't do it all. Thank you, and you
do say the right thing, it is much appreciated
Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
IG Can you separate "nothing is enough" from "nothing is ever going to be enough"? Sometimes I find it helpful to just acknowledge that indeed, I feel like the world is a black pit right now--I let the feeling in, give it space (not too much), and feel it down to my bones. At the same time, I only let myself go there if I also commit to believing that it will not always be so. I don't let myself debate that one. Sometimes giving myself over to that feeling--not acting it out!--for whatever reason, gives it permission to leave. I don't know how or why, just that it has worked for me. |
Thank you, FKM
So, do you mean the difference between 'nothing is enough' and 'nothing is ever going to be enough' is that in the future it is possible that it might be? That it won't always feel this bad?
The way you deal with the black pit feelings is the way I aim to be able to deal with them one day myself. It seems really balanced and healthy to be able to give them some room, to not squash them, but not let them take the wheel and send you on a desperate joyride crashing into a big tree. How do you develop the self-control to be so emotionally deft? My emotions are like an axe rather than a surgeon's knife
the final thing that broke me tonight was a friend not responding about meeting up, after he cancelled on me last nigh (was fine about that) and he said he wanted to catch up today, but went quiet on me and spend the day with his husband. I
know he is perfectly entitled to do as he like. But the floodgates opened and I got overwhelmed by pain and thought, there I am wrong again, he doesn't value the friendship as anything more than a pleasant occasional distraction. Totally bewildered by people. I sound like a nutter.
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Originally Posted by Asiablue
I'm not in a great place right now either but I will most definitely hold your hand.
It sounds like you've had a lot of extra worry lately with all the tests and things. You have all this on your plate plus you manage to work and go to therapy to work on your emotional healing. That is not an easy task and I hope you can allow yourself to see that as an achievement.
It's easy to get bogged down with all the things that are or might go wrong and the next thing you know, you feel like you're in a huge black hole. Can you try to just take each day as it comes right now? Try working out what would help you to feel comforted and just be really gentle with yourself?
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Thank you, Asia, and I am so sorry that you're struggling too
I have adopted that 'each day as it comes' thing, because it's simply all I can cope with right now, and trying not to worry about being confronted by my boss tomorrow.
I did spend some time this afternoon thinking about comfort in general. There is a distinct lack of comfort in my life altogether. It's really distressing because I came from a past where there was lots of comfort - I used to sleep glued to my mother because the closeness was so comforting and always helped if I was upset. Likewise, I used to be able to spend hours cuddling my horses. Or going to the cinema with friends I thought would be there forever, or just wedged on the sofas in our apartment talking til sunrise. There were
so many people there in my life and now, not a one. It's a disaster zone and I have no idea how to get anything remotely comforting back.