I may have asked this before but I'm not sure how to get to a really old post of mine, so I'm asking again.

I have a friend who I considered to be my best friend throughout high school, but who has grown distant from me since then and through college. I'm starting to think that she never considered me as a best friend (thought maybe that's an immature concept), and I'm no longer sure she is capable of having a close female friend. She has expressed her inability to make female friends easily/dislike of women to me before.

College has definitely changed her. It has opened her mind in someways, but I think it has also made her colder, and a bit more superficial with all but a few close people. Once when we were arguing, she described me as being like a jealous boyfriend. I didn't quite know what she meant, except maybe that I was being clingy?

During that time, and actually the whole time I've known her, she has always been terrible about plans, returning phone calls, returning texts. Twice during this time she has purposefully screened my calls for weeks, to the point where I would either just blame myself (depression/self esteem issues) or think that she was so busy she just didn't have time. THat was usually the excuse.

The thing is, I know that she speaks to her mother on the phone nearly every day. I know that she speaks to her boyfriend regularly.

We were close for a long time, and knew everything about one another, or so I thought, but now she's made me feel like a crazy stalker.

It hurt a lot to know she was screening my calls, when she finally admitted it this last time after an entire month. I actually decided for my sanity to not call her for another whole month, so I wouldn't have false hope, but unlike her, I actually told her I was doing this.

I think she is a good person in many ways. I just also think that I have a tendency to attract manipulative people, and she may be one of them. It might be that our relationship has always been so ruled by her whims that she thinks it's natural and nothing wrong. Maybe she has never known the real me, the self assured person I'm trying to be.

Recently we agreed that we're not best friends. She said she had many best friends (actually a line I heard long ago echoed by another manipulative best friend). I get it though. The internet meme, the childhood fantasy isn't real for most people. I just don't know how far to back off.

We were so close that we left things at each others houses, borrowed clothes, and every New Year go on a trip together. I even let her photograph me for art projects, even when I didn't like the way I looked.

Where should I draw the line? What are the boundaries? And how do I get over this long relationship that has been so core to my growing up?