Last year was a really hard year for me and it's when depression crept in. I was struggling in Algebra 1 and my mom was making things a lot harder for me. When I get bad grades on tests and homework she would yell at me and bring me down. She called me names that were unheard of. Your parents are suppose to be there for you but she was my worse bully. Not only was school and the kids at school problems- coming home to my family was another. They bullied me, called me names, publicly humiliate me. Being their oldest daughter, I slave for them. I cook for them and clean but I'm always considered lazy. I have no where to go and no one to talk to. No one understood me. I think my parents started to catch onto my feelings of depression and thoughts of suicidal but they haven't done anything to help. They offered tutoring but I don't need help with schooling. I'm having chest pain and problems with breathing, thoughts of suicidal and days where I can't get off the bed. I need help. Just a different kind. My friends aren't living in my shoes. My problems aren't the worst of their concerns. Hell, my problems just become their jokes. They've made jokes saying that I'll be the drug addict and alcoholic in our group of friends. I've been standing and fighting my own battle alone. I just found out I failed Algebra 1 and will be repeating it this year. Everyone at school teases me for being asian. Well, here it is. Your very own stupid asian. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want help. I want to sleep and never wake up. I want someone to tell me that everything will be okay even when we all know it isn't.
|