This thing about serving his mother and obeying him ... how literal is that? Does he, perhaps, have some conservative religious or ethnic traditions that are different from your own beliefs about the roles of husbands and wives within a marriage?

It sounds as though you're arguing about hypothetical situations that could happen but are not actually happening right now. If they do happen a year or five years down the road, who knows how either of you will react? Perhaps at the moment, you're talking around the real issues.

You asked if you were over-reacting. I don't know. It seems like wasted energy (to me) to get upset about hypothetical situations that may or may not happen some time in the future because we really can't predict what we might do if our emotions are riled up, say, three years from now.

If the two of you do, indeed, come from different religious or political backgrounds, then I applaud you for trying to figure these things out before marriage. It's important to find out if there are some deal breakers for either you or him?

If my H expected or demanded that I obey him and serve him and his family because that's the wife's role, it would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn't take it. I wouldn't comply. Resentments would build on both sides because his expectations and my actions would not be in accord.

If he asked that we show each other respect, especially in front of other people, I would agree wholeheartedly. If he asked that I be willing to give, as well as receive, love, care, and support, I'd like that, too. We'd be agreeing to both give and receive the same things. We'd be equals.

I think that may be what your feeling upset about. Not the hypotheticals themselves, but the idea that your caring, loving, respectful, adorable boyfriend expects you to become his subservient wife and you're not liking that idea very much. Is that possible?

Keep talking. Try to not get upset about any particular hypothetical situation and talk more directly about the expectations you both have about the roles of husband and wife. If you feel really strongly about this, it's not to early to tell him that you're willing to vow to "love, honor and cherish" him, but not, "love, honor and obey." I think that's the real issue.

Best of luck to you both.

P.S. I just noticed you're from Egypt. Sorry that I didn't notice that before. The different beliefs between a traditional man and a more modern woman can create big conflict. Keep talking and perhaps you can come to compromise.