Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
It sounds like you view this as accusing/criticizing your T which is understandable from what you say of conversations with your mother. But it needn't be that way.
Try to be specific about situations or statements that were upsetting to you, rather than general statements (like "You always seem so X"). Keep the focus on the feelings you notice in yourself when she says or does these things. As long as the focus is on your thoughts and feelings and reactions, it won't be accusatory.
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Actually I'm a lot more worried about how much care taking I should do during this conversations. I'm also aware of some of the erotic undertones that can occur when telling someone all of the parts of them that you can see. There's obsessive erotic transference in this relationship already for me. Having access to someone's emotional vulnerability whom I'm attracted to comes with a high desire for seduction. I'm really worried about a mutual feeling of vulnerability in the session. I'm very worried that I might behave badly. Taking someone apart, and getting down to their core, and then making love to them, is something I enjoy so much. I'm trying to figure out a way to approach the situation with her, that will help me avoid this tendency, its so hard. I just want us to stay safe, but no one ever really gave me the tools to accomplish that. So I feel like I'm looking around for the right wrench in the dark, and I' worried that I won't find it by Tuesday. Thank you for continuing to talk to me in this thread. I do need it so much. btw there's no more than three years between us.