Actually getting our needs met in a healthy way is our responsibility. I don't see it as wallowing in self pity or attention seeking. It is acknowledging what is and doing something about it. That takes a lot of courage. We all need validation for being how we are and we can't help it. Sure we can embellish it and get stuck in patterns but in large part we are how we are and can only try to get better. Many many factors can cause anxiety and depression that are out of our control.