Leah - I read your full (unedited) post last night, but was not in a mindset where I could reply...probably because your story hit so close to home for me.

I can totally relate to your struggle about being vulnerable with this and not wanting to show weakness. I have something very similar that I haven't shared with anyone, and I'm not sure I ever will.

If you're anything like me, not being able to accomplish something I think I "should have been able to do" because I was an emotional mess is very shameful for me. It's hard to admit that I had to give up on something, that I couldn't finish something, just because I was struggling so much with emotional/mental issues. I feel like I should have been able to push past that and just "get it done" and not being able to do that shows way too much weakness that I don't want anyone else to know about or be able to exploit.

So, I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. I don't have any words of wisdom or ways to make it easier. Sometimes, I think we have to decide how important it is to share a certain thing with T and if it really is important, then we have to just accept the shame that comes along with sharing. As my T reminds me - no one has ever died from shame, and bringing that shameful thing out in to the open makes it lose it's power. It doesn't make it any easier for me to share, though!!