Saw my T tonight and she put things into perspective that I had just been blind too: this sudden depressive spell could be grieving to an attachment; that two months in hospital is a long time and is bound to create an attachment to the safety of it... and though for so long I was climbing up the walls and was desperate to get out... I slowly adjusted to it... and now the coming out is going to be scary, unknown and strange to adjust to.

That my tolerance levels to stress is very slim on both levels of the spectrum (depression - anxiety) so she thought what the crisis team lady suggested the other night was a great idea that she wanted to expand on.

I am a very unstructured person... but I am repetitive in my actions. So she wants me to try and establish some daily routines but within those routines... shake up how I do them. i.e. take the dog out for a walk at a set time.... but each time I do, explore a different route or choose a different direction... that these changes will pre-occupy my mind with being aware of what's around me rather than going on auto pilot and letting the negative thoughts creep in.

She's also stressed to take each day at a time at the moment... to not look too far ahead and catastrophize... so literally, live for this day, write down what I've done in my book and get good rest and remember to eat.