In her defence- I don't blame her

I haven't gone through the whole therapy thing before (minus one very bad attempt 7 years ago, and another around the same time where the guy seemed totally disinterested because I couldn't get a word out). Anyways this was session 5 with trauma T and I was in my giddy (happy very happy) hyperarousal state, and even tho she was acting more grumpy and perturbed than usual (not that she is grumpy, she is just not the hold your hand message me if you need me kinda T haha), anyways, couldn't break myself out of it. Stupid smart mouthy happy self.

I knew it wasn't going to be good for therapy, but I did really good in group and gave great feedback to everyone

But now I am really mad at myself. I want to make progress and there was stuff I wanted to talk about.

I'm just really nervous and just can't 'be'. I have an extremely hard time with emotions, with talking, what to do blah. Is it all worth it really?

My fake life was working so well (till I got arrested) maybe I could fake it again and not engage in illegal activity.

What if sometimes I want a hold your hand kinda T. Little Ocean ain't ever gonna come out with someone so abrupt.