After the stigma of BPD thread and another recent thread about a similar topic.. I posted a thread about not being perfect.

It's still playing on my mind though.

And i am wondering if how I felt about those threads caused me to feel so defensive because am actually wondering whether I am actually one of those awful people with BPD that is causing all the stigma..

I can be horrible, but I can only ever see it with hindsight. I find it so hard not to justify my bad behaviour. And my worst behaviour? I blame bpd for it.

What if I am just a *****? And the pain I am in and BPD is just a punishment or a result of being a *****.

I'm not a sociopath, i really do have feelings and care deeply about others and I don't intentionally Want to hurt people. And i want world peace, it sounds cheesy but if I had one wish I would wish to end human suffering.

I have hurt people though, and i have been manipulative and I have done bad things. Not violent or aggressive things.

I hate to admit this, i don't want people to know, it's my secret, i try to paint myself in a positive light.

I am not saying that BPD makes me a horrible person, i am saying I have BPD and separately to That i am not always a nice person.