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Originally Posted by Timeforhelp
They say there are stages of grief for almost everything! Wandering if others feel stuck in the cycle! Anger, bitter, sad, confused, lonely, I could go on... Wishing I could talk about the abuse I sustained with my parents.
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I tried that but my mom (dad was dead by then) just hid behind DENIAL and refused to accept any responsibility for what happened in our very sick family.
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Every time I start to talk about it with my Therapist I clam up! I keep hearing my mothers voice telling me family problems stay in the family! No need to discuss your trash!!
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Many people had that problem in sharing meetings out of fear that their parents would come back from the grave and PUNISH them for spilling the beans about the family!
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I can not hate my mother. I loved her because she was my mom. I have strong dislike for her because of the S.M. And Phy. abuse sustained by her and my step dad. With time I hope to find peace in my heart.
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I hope you find peace too. I never found peace until AFTER I vented and unloaded all the bottled up, angry, painful and sad feelings I had towards my sick parents so that I could finally feel that a little justice had come my way. I never got the apologies I wanted but I did at least get to tell them things that I had held in since age 4 regardless of whether they accepted it or not. IMO, venting is both necessary and HEALING if done right. Many therapist cannot or will not show you how to vent because they are holding in their own unhealed stuff so they either fear or resent your need to vent - at least NOT in their presence!
good luck,
jim
