Is your boyfriend in any type of counseling? Would he be open to something like that? I wonder if he's depressed - wouldn't that explain the lack of interest in taking care of himself and in a romantic relationship.

If you want to work on this, the most important thing you can do is talk to him That's how you work on problems like this - you talk through it. You talk about your feelings, your concerns, and listen to what's going on with him. It's hard (well, I think it's hard!) - but that's how things get solved. If you're not currently in therapy, this could be a great thing to start seeing a good T about, and getting some support with these conversations.

I think the issue will be - if he flat out won't talk. You can keep trying, and make sure he knows that it's *important* - but if he won't join you in the discussion, I'm not sure that *you* can work on it, all by yourself. "You" needs to be "us" (you and him together).

In that case, you might want to re-evaluate staying. But you're not there yet, and there's nothing wrong with having those discussions first and trying to work it out.