I'm new to this and I've never openly dealt with my feelings of depression before. I'm 28 years old and have been fighting my feelings since I was a very young child. People around me just seem to be so much happier when I'm happy, so I've developed an excellent skill of putting up a wall of smiles and laughter to keep them all from peering in and getting a glimpse of what's really going on. I don't know what's wrong with me now that has me sinking so low today though. I know I have a form of seasonal depression and usually I'm my best in the summer but this summer has been different. I'm just in a haze I can't seem to find my way out of. I am sick of my job, I feel burned out in school (graduate in 8 months but it's getting harder and harder to stay on track), my family immediately makes me feel anxious and agitated when I see them, and I just want to snap out of it and go about my business. Some days are great. I'm on top of the world, and then I slip and fall off that ledge and smack down to the bottom. I don't let anyone see this change or tell anyone about it. The last time I tried, I got an eye roll and was told, "Well then maybe you should go see a shrink, cry baby." It made me shut my feelings inside more and press down and down and down on them, but I'm afraid there's now about 24 feet worth of feelings shoved into this 6 foot package. Anyone ever feel this way? What do you do in cases like this? What can I do?
PS - thanks for reading my novel.