The big draw is that she accepts me for who I am as a person--and I can be pretty annoying. She may question some of my wardrobe and complain about a bad habit here and there, true, but she tolerates some of my worst traits.

She's smart and beautiful. She thinks I'm attractive, especially in the eyes. We share multiple interests. We know what the other is thinking most of the time. We make each other laugh and we're both clumsy. We complement each other in some ways, like when it comes to planning. She's a bit spontaneous, which is exciting and fun (albeit sometimes confusing). I like to plan things in advance, which helps give her focus. She's kind to animals. She's incredibly patient. She's a good cook. She has a couple of obsessions that are downright adorable. She's helped me start to overcome reservations I've had--all of my sexual experiences before her were against my will.

I don't actually have to change a lot about myself. For example, she never actually said I had to stop slurping coffee--she's accepted that's part of my nature. I just know it bothers her and will try to limit it myself. The relocation thing isn't definitive--she's gone back and forth on where she'd be willing to live.

She's lived a life where she's had to sacrifice a lot, particularly when it comes to her family. Her father wouldn't let her play sports. Her parents wouldn't let her be an engineer. Being the eldest, she often had to take care of her siblings. Her family members often take/use things of hers without asking, nor do they return them. She has friends, but pretty much only through school and a hobby, and they're fun, but they don't really treat her that well. She's essentially lived give without take.

I do think that, looking ahead, I am giving more than she is. Hence the thread, and the call for help. Should I draw a line in the sand regarding more tattoos? Should I force her to make a decision about where she'd want to live? Are there ways I can broach this subject without it seeming like an attack?

As to the second question, it's not so much that she can't be bothered to get the visa. She's agreed to try, agreed to go through the effort. She has a fear of banks (something I've witnessed), which is why she wanted her mom to handle the transaction for her. It's just that she has it almost set in her mind that she won't pass. She's a bit of a pessimist like that sometimes. I've seen her have the same problem with a subject she's studying or working with someone at her job. She definitely struggles with adversity, whatever form it takes.