I started talking to this guy almost 6 months ago and hes a good guy but like i said in a few other posts he is married. He asked me to be his girlfriend and stupidly with out thinking i agreed. He tells me he is unhappy all the time and he is to scared to leave cause he doesnt want to lose his daughter and i dont know what to do. I dont wanna be the kinda girl that says its her or me because i dont wanna hurt him more than he already is.

He is a great guy but i am still young and i dont know if i should keep my options open or what anymore. He means the world to me and i have fallen for him in these past few months. We get to know each other more and more every day. Talking from the time we wake up till the time we go to bed. He puts a smile on my face and gives me butterflies in my stomach like no else ever has. When we talk i smile and laugh and so does he. We get to talk to each other via video chat at night sometimes and all we do is smile laugh and pick on each other.

I havent been happier but all that has been on my mind is his wife and daughter lately. I know what im doing is wrong but i have no idea how to break it off with out really hurting him. I want to be happy and i dont know if i can be with out him in my life but i know this is affecting both of us. he tells me he loved me all the time and that he doesnt want to lose me because im the most amazing girl ever. He is older than me i am 18 and he is 30 but i just dont know im at the point where i am ready to give up on everything because of my own stupidity.

My depression is going in to over drive because of this situation and because i feel so bad. Im sleeping all day and im up all night crying until i finally fall asleep I feel like cutting again and ive been trying so hard not to do that because i have no way to hide it anymore and i wanna be a medical assistant. Not even my medication is helping me right now. Ive tried talking to people i know but they dont wanna hear anything about it and i havent gone back to counseling yet because i have no way to get there can someone please give me some advice because i have no idea how to handle this situation anymore and i think its getting a little out of control.