I feel euphoric. I don't want this to end. But I HIGHLYdespise it just the same. I wonder how could I be sick if I feel so good? I have gotten a lot done. Dare I have hope that once I go to the psychiatrist, this time- I will drop back to normal? I'm tired of crying apologizing. I've been thinking how many years I was depressed then agitated, disorganized. I feel awesome and pumped. But I am scared, not angry. . I hope I don't drift off to another land while I'm awake. I feel alone. I don't like that feeling. When do we go to inpatient?